Feel Again
by DoingTheUnstuck
Summary: "But he still can't fight the feeling that this feels wrong. Like none of it ever happened and she was still here with him. Like she should be the one he smiles at while she glides gracefully down the aisle, looking angelic in her white dress."


Hello, my lovelies, another story for today. I will update my other one tomorrow…after my bio and chem lecture…blehh…anywhore, this one won't get out of my head and I really like the idea (yes, it is inspired by the wedding episode in The Nanny). So read it, (hopefully) love it, and…REVIEW IT! Reviews make authors happy. And everyone knows happy authors equals more stories!

-Millie

* * *

He read it again.

And again.

And again.

He can't really say why he keeps reading it. Here he is, on what is supposed to be the happiest day of his life, and he is reading this stupid old letter she gave him. This silly little letter that spilled _everything _she was feeling. The same letter that led to the happiest years of his life, before she up and left him. It just wasn't fair.

He should be happy. Not reminiscing in things he can't change.

Once more, his eyes glance over the faded words on the crinkled paper. The words _love, forever, _and _happiness _caught his eye. Then he remembers back to that time and how those words turned out to be _lies. _

By this point, he can barely breathe. He can barely contain his frustration and confusion. He feels hot tears roll down his cheeks. _This shouldn't be happening, _he thought, _I have someone new and she makes me happy._

But he still can't fight the feeling that this feels wrong. Like none of it ever happened and _she _was still here with him. Like _she _should be the one he smiles at while she glides gracefully down the aisle, looking angelic in her white dress. Like _she _is the one who is going to make his breath hitch and his voice get caught in his throat. Like _she's_ there with him, watching him. Always. That's always how it felt. No matter what he does, she's there and he knows it.

Suddenly, he hears a whisper. It's incredibly faint; he needs to strain his ears to hear it and he hasn't heard it in over three years but he could never forget that voice. And all of a sudden his breath hitches, voice caught in his throat. _How ironic, _he thought. Then she appears in front of him.

"Austin." She says, louder this time. She's smiling and glowing and wonderful. He gasps her name out as he reaches for her, tears spilling out of his eyes. He notices how radiant she looks. She doesn't wear the traditional and cliché long white gown. She's not in that awful hospital gown, all wrapped up and hooked up to a bunch of monitors that beep. No. She doesn't look like she's hanging on for dear life. She looks absolutely beautiful, standing there in the pretty yellow summer dress she's always loved on her, with her brown curls framing her face. And she's still smiling as he's gasping for his breath.

"Ally…." He says once more, not believing his eyes. She smiles once more, albeit it is sadder this time. "Hey, Austin. Long time no see." She reaches out to touch his cheek. It's just a ghost of a touch, but it's still there.

"How…why…" He begins, not sure on what is happening. Ally just keeps smiling at him for a moment, then quickly changes moods and scolds him. "Austin Monica Moon, just tell me what the hell you are doing? It's your wedding day, stupid. You should be all smiles and happy tears. Not sad ones."

He blinks in surprise. "What…Ally…what is….huh?" Austin manages to stutter out. Ally sighs and sits besides the groom. She smiles as she sees the letter in his hand. "You know why I'm here. And I can't believe you kept that! It's so old now..what…like almost ten years old? I wrote that when I was sixteen, so the writing is probably so juvenile now." She laughs as she takes the letter from him and read all of that stupidly cheesy crap she wrote to him.

Austin turns to her and smiles slightly. "I never thought it was stupid, Alls. I've been carrying that with me every day since I found it in the practice room. I've had it when for everything we went through in the five years we were together. And I'll keep it with me for the rest of my life."

Ally sighed and lifted her head up to look him in the eyes. "Austin…you know I love you, right? Forever and always, just like it says in here." She gestured to the letter in her lap. "I love you too," he says truthfully, staring into her beautiful brown eyes.

"I know," she says, "But…you have to stop feeling like you're doing something wrong. Because you're not." He looks back down at his hands and now it is his turn to sigh. "Alls..she makes me happy..but I…I just can't forget about you…I need to know…if you're okay with this…it feels wrong like it should be you…but…it can't be…and I realize that…"

Austin is startled as Ally's laughter twinkles through the room. He looks up and realizes just how much he missed her voice and her laugh and just _her _in general. "What?" He asks, a bit miffed she's laughing in this serious moment.

Ally wipes a nonexistent tear from her eye and looks into his once more. "Austin…I know she makes you happy. That's what I wanted. That was my goal. Stop feeling bad and tell me the truth. You love her, right?"

His confusion seeps into his voice as he says, "Yes, I love her…and what do you mean that was your goal?" Ally laughs once more and smiles that _beautifulangelicgleaming_ smile at him.

"Austin, honey, I love her too. Really. You know I watch over you, right? All of you..Trish..Dez..everyone. And it was my goal because I sent her to you. Didn't you ever wonder how Cassidy suddenly waltzed back into your life? I knew she would be perfect for you; I knew she would make you and our baby girl happy. She cares for you, Aus. She makes you happy. And that makes me happy. I love her. She's wonderful, really."

The blonde groom blinks in surprise as he tries to process what she said. Then, he grins for the first time in what seems like years. "You…you did that? Thank you. For everything. Really, Alls. I…I'm so glad…I mean…It's a relief to know that. Cassidy makes me so happy. And she's good to our little girl too. She shows little Marie videos of you. She even sings her your songs from your old songbook…she's just so good for us…" He trails off, seemingly remembering why he was getting married in the first place.

"She's a keeper, Austin. Until you guys join me up there. Then, you're mine." She winks at him, making him slightly chuckle. Ally tilts her head up, hearing people coming. "Austin…it's time for me to go…but just know I love you. And I'm always here with you. You may not be able to see me…but I'll be here. Promise. I'll even walk you down the aisle!" She giggles at herself, getting another smile out of Austin.

His smile turns sad as he watches her fade, still looking as radiant as she did when she came. "I love you too, Alls…" He says to empty air. In that moment, Dez bursts through the door with Trish and both give him questioning looks. "Austin, what were you doing?" Trish asks then glances down at the paper in his hands. He follows her eyes and folds the paper, placing it in his pocket. He looked back up at his two best friends, knowing his third one was right beside them. "Oh, you know, just warming some cold feet with an old friend." The odd pair looks confused at first, then smiles understandingly.

"Ready, Austin?" He is asked. Austin looks to his side and smiles at where he knows she stands. "Yeah," he says, "I think I'm finally ready."

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I know, it's kind of a downer but what can you do? REVIEW!


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